What are you telling yourself?

A colleague of mine gave a great speech recently. The subject? Whatever you put after "I am" you become. Whatever you believe will happen, will probably happen.

In short, it was about self-talk.

Self-talk seems a little crazy to some.

You want me to talk ...... to myself? Yes. But before you call for the guys in the white coats, note well: we do it all the time.

As people we are constantly talking to ourselves. It may not be out loud (that's when the dudes in the white coats appear), but we're telling ourselves all kinds of things, usually about how we view our own ability to achieve a goal, overcome an

obstacle, about our self-worth, or intelligence.

You know the old saying: garbage in, garbage out.

For athletes, players and coaches, self-talk is critical to their success. And not just any self-talk, but positive self-talk

We live in a world that leans towards the negative. Turn on the local or national news and you know what I mean. It's 90% negative, followed up by a story about a rescued cat so the newscast doesn't sound all bad.

Then there's the pressure of fitting in. Walking, talking, and dressing like everyone else, listening to the same music on the latest gadget as everyone else.

It can sometimes be hard to rise above a lot of the negative energy and peer-pressure.


2-Minute Power-Play:

There is a solution. Hint: it's fixed to your neck.

Talk to any high performance athlete and they'll tell you most of their success comes not from their physical training or natural ability but from their mental ability to stay focused, to have strong self-belief, which ensures they'll use their physical skills or gifts to the fullest.

Think Martin Brodeur
Think Roger Federer
Think Alex Ovechkin

It starts with you.
It starts with your HEAD.
It starts with what you tell yourself about YOU

5-Minute Power Play:

Tell yourself you're the greatest.

the greatest coach
the greatest player
the greatest goalie
the greatest finisher
the greatest hockey parent (or parent for that matter!)
You're unstoppable.

Good things will happen, guaranteed. And it's not reserved for NHL players. It works for anyone.

I've written about communication being a skill that is just as important as stick handling, shooting, skating, or passing. Your mental skills are equally important. Without strong self-belief, none of those other skills are allowed to work at top level.


5-Minute Major:

Stay away from negative situations or negative people.

Negative people always find fault first in anything, or with anyone.
Negative people always gripe.
Negative people are always 'meddling'.
Negative people are always quick to ridicule your ideas --mostly because they don't have any cool ideas of their own.
Negative people usually get left behind, no matter how good they are.


Penalty-Kill:

The easy path is to let yourself fall into the negative world that bombards us all day. Make it a point to surround yourself with positive people. Insist on it. Positive energy and positive self-talk gives you energy to understand what the path to success looks like, whatever the task is.

Put good stuff in your mind everyday and you're sure to achieve things you never really thought possible before, but were always capable of.

Do you respond, or react?

How we respond to events is more important than the event itself.

Watching tennis matches at the U.S. Open recently reminded me of this important lesson.

I watched player after player in this year's U.S. Open in crucial Quarter-final, Semi-final, and Final matches, regularly smash or bang their racquets in frustration.

In a funny coincidence every player that lost their composure lost their match. Coincidence? No way. Those players reacted instead of responding. They let negative energy and thoughts into their minds and it cost them, not just in their results on the court but in the court of public and professional opinion.

The greats like Roger Federer, Wayne Gretzky, or Sidney Crosby find ways of responding instead of reacting.

In hockey we often like to blame referees for their poor calls, shifting blame for a loss to the guys in stripes. Coaches regularly fly off the handle and vomit various versions of the 'blame game' towards referees. Parents too. This flows down to the players. Players see coaches getting upset, they get upset.

2-Minute Power Play:

When you respond, you allow yourself to focus on the solution.

Your whole stance and approach to adversity is different. It becomes about overcoming the obstacle instead of reacting to it. Reacting robs you of the energy and focus needed to overcome it. Make adversity a time for you and your team to prove yourselves, no matter whether it's a minor or major penalty or a blown call.


2-Minute Minor:

No one is out to 'get' you, coach or player, so you can forget about a ref trying to 'do you in' with bad call after bad call. If a referee is erring towards giving you or your team less leeway it could very likely be a result of how you've reacted to their legitimate calls in the past.

5-Minute Major:

Your reputation as a parent, player, or coach is on the line every time a situation arises where you have the choice to react or respond. If you lose control, others around you are sure to follow suit-- whether you're a coach, player, or parent. People notice. Believe it.

Penalty Kill:

As a coach, make it a rule not to talk to referees unless it's between periods, where you can discuss any issues calmly and in a more private setting--away from your players.

Also make it a rule that no player is to say anything to the refs. Follow through on disciplining players who do.



As a new season dawns for those of us in the hockey world, let's remind ourselves as players, parents, and coaches about the importance of focusing on what you can control--your attitude and the way you respond to events. Focus on the solution, get your teammates, yourself, or your players to respond, not react, to adversity.

Quote of The Week: To respond is positive, to react is negative
-Zig Ziglar